I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
