very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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