Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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