I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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