You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
