If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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