Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
