Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize