guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
