Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
