if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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