Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize