all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
