some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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