How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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