yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
