dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i drank out of a bidet.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
