Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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