can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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