allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
why is half of my head shaved?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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