great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
