Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
