just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
