Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
