How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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