You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry about my life...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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