I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
