if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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