Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
