I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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