My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
