i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
