whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
