So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
