i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
