Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
