i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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