found the other keg... it's in the tree
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
