Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
