I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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