He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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