The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
