so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
