In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
