He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
