If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
