Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
