Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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