Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
