What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and she was petting her beer can
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
