We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Use "feeling words"
Yay
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
