if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
