New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
