ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
