I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
