dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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