Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
