Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
