He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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