my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He better not be in your backpack
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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