I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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