I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
