I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
