How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
