went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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