I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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