ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize