Where is the hickey?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
