Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
