suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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