? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
