On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
