He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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