I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
