Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
