Are we in a gay sports bar?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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