Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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