I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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